With the most recent addition to the God of War series coming out this Friday, I think it’s important to look back on the original trilogy’s most interesting puzzles. I am, of course, referring to the sex mini-games.
My first play-through of the God of War trilogy, I never really thought much of them. They were a silly little gimmick that got you some much needed red stuff at a time in the game when you could likely use it. However, on a second play-through of the games these harmless romps seem less like a mini-game, and more like a test for the Ghost of Sparta.
It’s important when playing God of War to remember who Kratos is, and his backstory. Kratos’ wife and child were slaughtered at his own hands, and their ashes are bound to Kratos’ skin to remind him of what he’s done. He’s tormented by visions of what he’s done. His goal in the first game is to kill Ares, the God of War, to get revenge for this, and to have Athena rid him of the visions. We are led to believe that in this quest, Kratos has become a slave to his ego and acts only on his impulses and self-indulgence, but that’s the trick isn’t it? Kratos is an ego driven lunatic who indulges often, but he always has that singular driving force behind him: To forget what I’ve done and move on.
Hopefully by now you can see where I’m going with this:
“If you indulge in the sex mini-games, you are playing the game wrong.” — Travis Tessmer, 2018
Never forget, the game gives you a choice. Do you want to have sex with Aphrodite while covered in the ashes of your dead wife and child? You know if you do so you will be rewarded by the game, but is it worth decimating your character arc? This is the choice that God of War presents us, the unsuspecting masses who are using Kratos as a means of escapism, to indulge purely in our ego and impulses. When we’re so swept up in the gory fight scenes and gratuitous nudity, do we have what it takes to step back from the action and reflect on the game’s story? I know what I the player want to do, but what does Kratos the character want to do? Does he feel regret afterward? Does the shattering of the pot that he’s managed to bump off the table suddenly remind him of his wife and child hanging bloody and lifeless in his arms? If you failed to tap the X button quick enough and failed the mini-game, was it because in the back of your mind you were thinking about Kratos’ wife drowning in that creepy green river in the Disney Hercules movie? How agonizing must it be for Kratos to not have sex with the godess of love?
“By the gods, what have I become? “— Kratos, God of War I
The next time you pick up the God of War trilogy, try to experience the game more as Kratos and blue-ball yourself into a god-killing nightmare of whirling chaos blades.
